


Through the Long Night

by faithfulpenelope



Category: Cut & Run - Madeleine Urban & Abigail Roux
Genre: Angst, M/M, Post-Shock & Awe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2017-05-25
Packaged: 2018-11-04 20:34:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10998489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faithfulpenelope/pseuds/faithfulpenelope
Summary: Nick's 48-hour leave is almost up.





	Through the Long Night

“Where are you flying out of?” Kelly asks quietly, and Nick knows it’s because he can’t ask the real question: _when do you leave._

“Annapolis. Navy’s giving me a lift overseas.” He twists from his position flat on his back, pushes down the pillow to glance at the clock, which reads _1:53_ in bright red letters. “Wheels up at 1700. Figure an hour or so to get there…”

“Just about two hours then,” Kelly murmurs. He’s on his side, his head on Nick’s thigh, Nick’s other leg throw over Kelly’s hip. He runs a hand over Nick’s leg to his hip, stroking gently against the soft skin. “God, Nick.” Nick doesn’t say anything, doesn’t know what to say, so he just reaches down, cards his hand through Kelly’s wild hair. “I hate this,” Kelly says for him, his voice going rough and hard. “I hate this so much. I hate that they pulled you back and I hate that I can’t come with you.”

Nick feels the guilt sharp in his side, not all that different from the knife in Miami, and his stomach tenses in pained reflex. Kelly makes a soft noise, and his hand immediately sides over, rubbing at the tight muscles of Nick’s abs.

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes, and sighs. “I’m sorry. We’ve only got two hours. There’s no sense in rehashing what we can’t change.” Nick nods but looks away; he can’t look at Kelly right now, not knowing what he did, not knowing he’s part of the reason Kelly’s been left behind. But Kelly sees it anyway; he gives Nick’s hip a little shake, doesn’t stop until Nick looks down to him. “That bullet kept me from going back,” he says, a strict order against Nick’ self-recrimination. He squeezes again when Nick doesn’t answer. “The _bullet_ , Irish. Not you.”

Nick holds his breath for a few more seconds before he exhales, gives a tiny nod. “Okay,” he says finally, and Kelly nods back. “Okay.”

“If only we knew how long you’d be gone,” Kelly says mournfully, then shakes his head, because he knows it’s a pipe dream. Except –

Except it’s not.

It’s on the tip of Nick’s tongue, to tell Kelly the truth, about the NIA and his orders and the Corps’ promise to have them back in three months to get it done, but Nick bites it back, forces it down. It’s happened half a dozen times since they came into the hotel room but Nick has held it in each time. To tell Kelly – it’d be criminal offense, for one, but more importantly, it would put Kelly at risk, and if Nick has any purpose in this world, it is to keep Kelly safe from harm. The pain of this, of them being forced apart, Nick knows it would be nothing compared to if Kelly were to be hurt because of him.

“I will get home to you as soon as I can, I promise,” he swears instead, curling his hand around Kelly’s cheek and holding tight, his thumb tracing along the angle of Kelly’s jaw. Kelly nods, his eyes understanding, and turns into the touch to press a kiss to the palm of his hand.

“I know you will.” His voice is quiet but it’s without reservation. “And I’ll be here when you do.”

“Got nobody better to do, huh?” Nick teases gently, and it earns him a huffed laugh and the corners of a smile as Kelly shakes his head. “Just you and me?” he asks, even though he knows the answer – he’d seen in Kelly’s eyes, out on the balcony, as they promised each other this was real. He wants to hear Kelly say it anyway; he needs all the memories he can get.

“Just you and me,” Kelly confirms, and for a moment there’s nothing else, just him and Kelly, his smile happy and true, before his smile wavers. The rest of the world is just too big to stay out for long. “Is this how Ty and Zane felt?” he blurts out, his voice cracking a little, as if he can’t bear the thought of their friends suffering like they are. There’s a part of Nick that loves him even more for his concern, even if he doesn’t really want to talk about their friends just now.

“I think…” he starts, then pauses. “They’re feeling their own pain,” he finally says. “But this is different.” He strokes Kelly’s forehead, runs the tip of a finger down his nose. “We just found each other,” he whispers. “Barely had a chance to explore it. And now I have to leave again.”

Kelly closes his eyes and buries his face against Nick’s thigh. “Just long enough to discover we need each other,” he murmurs. His stubble scratches against sensitive skin and Nick shudders, his knee jerking just enough to dislodge Kelly for a moment, but Kelly just smiles again and presses back in, rotating Nick’s knee out so he’s able to kiss at Nick’s inner thigh. The small _oh_ trips out of Nick’s mouth before he can help it and Kelly takes it as encouragement to kiss deeper, wetter, his tongue sliding out to lap at small red mark his mouth’s left behind. Nick’s hand falls away as he surrenders to Kelly’s touch, gasping when Kelly takes him in hand and starts to stroke. He wouldn’t have thought it possible, not after everything they’ve done, but he feels himself hardening in Kelly’s grasp, and he groans Kelly’s name.

“Sit up,” Kelly orders hoarsely, so Nick does, his back to the wood headboard. Then Kelly’s there in his lap, his knees tight against Nick’s hips, his ass pressed against Nick’s cock. “Need you in me,” he whispers, and Nick shudders underneath him.

"It’s not too much?” he whispers back, presses gently against Kelly’s hole. He’s wet and slick under his fingertips. Kelly moans, presses back with a shake of his head.

“Please,” he breathes. There’s the click of a plastic cap and a hand around Nick’s cock, coating him. “Nick, _please_ –”

His voice cuts out as Nick positions himself and pushes in, one smooth slide, and they both moan at the sensation. Nick pauses there, shoved deep, and just breathes, takes in the perfection of it.

“Like heaven,” he murmurs finally, and Kelly nods against his cheek, his breathing shallow. They’re pressed together, chest to chest, and Nick feels Kelly’s heart beating hard under the skin, is sure his own heart is beating back in time.

“Nick,” Kelly whispers again, then wraps a hand around Nick’s neck, cards his fingers through the short curls at the nape. Nick lays his cheek down onto Kelly’s shoulder, relaxing into the soft touch. _Not even two days_ , he thinks, that’s all it’s taken to for him to fall. A lifetime of fighting brought down to the mat by the sheer force of his Devil Doc.

Kelly shifts in his lap, sitting up enough that Nick’s forced to lift his head and rest his forehead against Kelly’s chest instead. Kelly starts to twist his hips in tiny, tight circles, the friction so hot it’s almost unbearable, but Nick wraps his hands around Kelly’s shoulders and pushes down, forcing himself deeper, forcing a whine from Kelly’s chest. He’s got his hands clenched around the headboard now, his arms tense around Nick’s head, his head hanging back. It leaves his throat wide open and Nick can’t resist the temptation, leaning in to lick up the sweaty column, bite at his Adam’s apple. It stutters under Nick’s lips as Kelly swallows hard, and he feels more than hears his name as Kelly moans it. Nick kisses it again, kisses down Kelly’s chest, his pecs, until he can tongue at a hard nipple. Kelly’s hand comes back to his nape, presses him close, and Nick takes the nub between his teeth and bites.

“ _Ah_ ,” Kelly gasps above him, his fingers digging into Nick’s hairline. “ _Fuck_ , Nick.”

Nick soothes the bite, twirling his tongue around, before he switches sides, biting harder this time, and Kelly’s hips lose their rhythm for just a second. The hand in his hair pulls and he goes with it, raises his face so that Kelly can kiss him, wet and deep and slightly frantic. His hips are moving now, not so much thrusting as grinding, Kelly’s moving in perfect counterpoint. “Kels,” he gasps into Kelly’s mouth but Kelly grunts, pulls him back in with his teeth on Nick’s lower lip. Nick feels the split an instant before the pain hits, a sharp spark down his spine that only fuels his need, and he grabs Kelly’s hips, forcing him still so he can pull out a little more, thrust back in. Kelly makes a soft noise, his head nodding in what has to be an unconscious gesture, so Nick keeps him there, keeps thrusting. “Touch yourself,” he orders, but Kelly shakes his head, grips the headboard again.

“Wanna come like this,” he counters, and Nick grins. Kelly grins back, ducks down to lick at Nick’s jaw, his earlobe. “I want you to make me come with that fat cock,” he whispers, his lips wet against Nick’s ear, and Nick growls, slams up hard.

"You got it,” he grits out, wrapping Kelly up so tight he can’t even move, can’t do anything except accept Nick’s thrusts. Kelly cries out, goes rigid against him, but doesn’t fighting it, just holds on tight, nails scratching deep into the wood of the heavy headboard. His arm brushes Nick’s hair, his cheek, and Nick turns his head and sucks the wet skin, bites into the bulging bicep muscle.

“Oh, God,” Kelly shouts, and Nick lets go of a hip to grab Kelly’s ass and squeeze, hard. “Oh _fuck_ , I mean Nick,” Kelly cries instantly, and Nick rewards him with a sucking kiss to his neck. “Nick, I say _Nick_ –”

“Goddamn right you do,” Nick growls. “And that’s the only fucking name you say, because you’re mine now, you understand?”

" _Yes_.” Kelly’s moan comes from down deep, the most passionate thing Nick thinks he’s ever heard. “Yes, Nick, _yours_. Only yours.”

“ _Mine_ ,” Nick repeats. It’s like the room is shaking, he’s pounding into Kelly so hard. Kelly’s face is wet, sweat and spit, maybe even tears. “You’re mine, and I’m yours,” he breathes, and Kelly’s eyes go wide, unseeing.

“ _Nick_ ,” he whimpers, his whole body tensing as he comes in hot pulses against Nick’s stomach. Every part of him bears down on Nick and it forces Nick’s orgasm out in a sudden, shocking wave that splashes down his spine. Nick gasps out Kelly’s name, pulls him tight back against his chest as he comes deep inside him. With Kelly pressed so close, he’s all Nick can see, can hear, can feel, and it flashes through Nick’s mind that he could stay there forever, inside Kelly, surrounded by him. His hands slip, wet with sweat, down Kelly’s back, and he gathers then up on Kelly’s shoulders again, refusing to let go.

“Babe,” Kelly murmurs against his chin, and Nick realizes Kelly’s back is tense, remembers that Kelly’s body is still inexperienced in what they just did. Nick loosens his grip, goes to pull out, but Kelly hisses against his neck, a sharp sound.

“I hurt you,” Nick breathes, his heart plummeting in his chest, but Kelly shushes him, strokes his chest.

“Kiss me,” he orders, so Nick does, lets the kiss distract them both as Kelly raises up on his knees and Nick pulls free. They kiss for few minutes longer, before Kelly pulls back, still breathing a little too hard.

“I am going to be feeling it for a while,” he admits with a cheeky smirk, and Nick snorts, shakes his head.

“Incorrigible,” he chastises, then shifts Kelly just enough so he can lean down and retrieve one of the bath towels from their last shower from the floor. He guides Kelly down onto his back so he can clean them both off, taking gentle care around Kelly’s reddened skin. When he’s done he kisses one hip, then the other, then drops the towel back to the floor and stretches out along Kelly’s side, their legs intertwining. Kelly’s arm wraps around his shoulders and he lays his head down against Kelly’s chest, closes his eyes.

When Kelly finally speaks, his voice is even but the words are thick with emotion. “You should try to sleep for a few minutes,” he murmurs. “God knows what the flight’s gonna be like.”

“I know I should,” Nick says. He picks up Kelly’s hand instead, twists their fingers together like a steepled roof of a church. “How many times have I done this,” he whispers against Kelly’s skin, “and it’s never felt like this. Never _hurt_ like this.”

Kelly’s Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows hard. He rests his cheek against Nick’s hair. “Never had much to leave behind before,” he says finally, and Nick nods, because it’s true. He’s had his family, of course, his sisters, but there had always been a knowledge, deep down, that if he were to not come back, they would mourn but then carry on with their lives, his absence painful but not disabling. And Kelly – Kelly was the one who’d had to list his Navy commander as his next of kin because he didn’t have anyone else left to stand for him. His true next of kin, they were all in the desert beside him.

And now, in the desert without him.

They lay there, quiet, for a time, until the silence of the room is broken by the soft ding of a text message coming through to Nick’s phone. Nick holds close to Kelly for a moment longer, then rolls free to find it. It drops to the ground as he shakes his pants, and the screen lights up to show the message. “My ride is going to be here in thirty,” he says, his voice gone low and hoarse. He hears Kelly sit up in the bed behind him.

“I’m coming with you,” Kelly says firmly, and comes to press his body against Nick’s back when Nick starts to shake his head. “Nick.”

“I can’t, Kels,” Nick whispers, grasping Kelly’s hand as his arms weave around Nick’s chest. “I can’t say goodbye to you in the parking lot outside the gates of the base with a bunch of guards staring out. It was bad enough at the airport.”

Kelly falls silent, still for a moment, before he sighs and nods. “Okay,” he says, and Nick breathes out his relief, because he knows Kelly understands that it has nothing to do with shame - of Kelly, or their relationship – and everything to do with Nick being strong enough to walk through the gates with his head on straight and his eyes dry.

“Okay,” he says, and presses his forehead to Kelly’s cheek. “Okay.”

Kelly squeezes him tighter, then pulls back with a brief kiss to his temple. “Let’s get you packed and back in uniform,” he whispers, and Nick nods.

xxxxxx

The hotel lobby buzzes in a blur around them. The sailor send for Nick stands in silent sentry by the blue Crown Vic, his gaze fixed pointedly away from the two lovers.

“I promise I will do everything I can to get back to you as soon as possible.”

Kelly nods, and pulls Nick’s collar a little straighter. Nick’s hands squeeze a little tighter against his hips. “And I’ll be here waiting for you,” he promises. A soft smile flits across his lips, but his eyes storm gray and blue, tight with pain. “Say hey to the boys for me.”

“I will,” Nick says. He feels like his heart may crack in his chest. “Make sure you call Garrett sometime, yeah?”

“I will,” Kelly agrees.

“Your cab will be here soon?”

“Yeah.” _I understand why you’re going to Annapolis alone but I can’t stay here without you_ , he’d told Nick, _not in this room_. So he’d packed too, followed Nick to the lobby where he’d arranged his own transportation to BWI. His pack sits next to Nick’s seabag at their feet, brightly colored patches a stark contrast to cameo.

There’s the pointed sound of a throat clearing, and they look over to see the sailor nod, not unkindly, towards his watch. “Yeah, okay,” Nick breathes, then pulls Kelly close in a tight hug. Kelly holds him just as close, his fingers clawing, a little frantic, into the thick fabric of Nick’s uniform.

“I love you,” Kelly whispers. “Be safe.”

“I’ll try,” Nick promises. “I love you, Kels.”

Kelly nods against his neck, and then he’s being kissed, soundly, as if Kelly could will his protection over Nick through the kiss. Nick kisses him back, just as soundly, and tries to commit the feeling to memory – not the pain, not the loneliness that’s already threatening, but the feeling of Kelly’s love surrounding him like a shield.

It’s Kelly that breaks the kiss, Kelly that hands him his seabag. It’s Kelly that stands back and snaps a firm salute, which Nick returns out of pure instinct. “Go get ‘em, Staff Sergeant,” he says with a smile, sad but immeasurably proud, and it gives Nick the strength to step away.

“Aye, aye,” he says, and his voice only trembles a little as he slides into the back of the Crown Vic. The sailor closes the door behind him, then climbs into the driver’s seat and starts the engine. Nick takes one last look at Kelly, standing tall at the curb. Kelly nods; _I’ll see you soon_. Nick nods back, then meets the sailor’s gaze in the rear view mirror.

“Okay, Ensign,” he says, his voice strong and sure in purpose. “Let’s not keep the Navy waiting.”


End file.
